“Are you still fooling with clowns or do you need me to come get you?” - Love, Raya 😘

Thank you to all those who have sent me birthday wishes so far. I’ve been celebrating since May 1st and we are only half way through! I’m not going out everyday, the main difference from my usual routines is when I stay in, I make myself some drinks and turn on a movie or show instead of keeping my laptop open and doing work after 5pm. By the way, have you watched “Life of Otto” yet with Tom Hanks? He’s one of my favorite actors. The movie isn't fast pace or has any action in it. It’s more sentimental and shows the phases of losing someone close and feeling empty, but it also shows the importance and impact of transferring love to other parts of your life. It’s well worth watching.

DISCLAIMER: This topic is NOT work friendly. Make sure to have your headphones in and that your Bluetooth is not connected to the conference room.

My two best friends and I have conversations about this often and we were all raised in the same area so they completely understand when I say that I when a man talks to me with bass in his voice especially when he's trying to put me in my place or handle me a certain way. 😍

A man who can leave me speechless is such a turn on, because you're not physically dominating me, you're mentally challenging in a way that makes me reflect on how I'm acting I find that so attractive. For instance, one time my young friend and I were going somewhere to just hangout and he said he was bringing his gun with him. Where we were going had a very strict weapons policy and I told him he couldn't do that and that I didn’t want to have any issues getting in. He said it was going to be fine and we went back and forth for a little bit until he finally just said with a firm tone: “Listen, I’m bringing my gun. We won’t have any problems. So stop fussing at me!” - (My nipples got excited with that 😆) I didn't say anything more about and sure enough, we got to the place, there was a whole team of law enforcement at the front and he walked up to them, I stayed back, but a few minutes later, it was like Remy Ma and Fat Joe where they just let him walk around the metal detectors…’cuz ain't no reason to check us. And at that moment, I thought to myself, this kid just keeps impressing me and I really need to keep myself away from him, but I know one thing for damn sure, no one will fck with me when he’s around! I will be fully protected.

I don't know what it is, I just love a man that's a MAN. Who knows how to treat me as a woman, like I am important to him. I know we are all busy especially those of use who have more than just ourselves to manage and especially men who have a lot on their minds, so I notice when men take time to acknowledge me like sending me a nice message, wishing me a good day, or a great weekend, things like that, but a man who also knows how to talk to me when I’m being a little too much or when I’m talking shit. A man who doesn't avoid me or insult me or tries to prove something to someone else by acting poorly towards me. A man who still see me as me and remembers that my strong personality sometimes needs the right temperament. Instead, he suppresses my dominant demeanor because he understands the patience and firmness I need so he asserts his own dominance to make me revert back to my feminine attributes. Like he lets me be who I am, but he puts me right back in my place as a woman. A man who says something like, “Okay, keep acting up, but when I get over there you better cut it out.”

One of my bestfriends told me that the longer I go without being with a man who can handle me, the more aggressive and out of control my attitude becomes 🤣. So she's going to pray for the man who gets that chance to try. And my other best friend thinks I should move back north and get me a Philly, Jersey, or New York man. 😂 Listen, I’m not going to downplay it, I do have a certain assertive attitude mainly because I worked hard to get to where I am at. I’m up at the top shelf and if a man is at the bottom shelf, we don’t speak the same language, no matter how attractive he may be. And men should have the same mindset as well, there is a lot of beautiful women out here, but all of them don’t have the same tenacity. If she’s at the bottom shelf and she’s hustling just to stay at the same place she started from, then she’s not husting, she’s just getting by. And any man that I have been involved with, if he starting dealing with a woman who isn’t at the same level in life as me or higher, then he didn’t upgrade, he just settled for something easier. And I’m sorry if I sound cocky, but again I worked hard to get where I’m at and my confidence will definitely outshine many people. So I need for someone to match my energy and not be unsure of it. Any man that I used to be intimate with and it did not work out for whatever reason, I would still want him to meet someone with high accolades or better.

Because if you’re not doing better, then what are your really doing? — Getting your 🍆 wet?

In which case, have your fun sir! 😜

And it’s not just the sense of him knowing how to settle me, I also like it for a man to make me nervous in a flirtatious way. Like if he knows he’s being charming and says something…maybe sexual that makes me blush or makes me turn away so he doesn't see me smiling. Every now and then I may say something risky to a guy and one of the besties said I need to stop doing that because a man will get tired of a woman playing games with him and these are her words, “If you’re not planning to drop off those titties and that puss to him, then stop teasing before he comes to snatch you.” 🤣 (Shiiit….I might like that. That might be just what I need. 🫠) - But just to be clear, I don’t say suggestive things to every man, I say them to men who I know won’t expect me to act on anything, even then I know that's not fair, so trust me I don’t do it often.

I do have my standards, I don’t just give myself to anyone and there's not a lot of men who can't say they've had me. Generally, if a man smells good, dresses like he has a professional career, he's funny, is a gentleman, I do find that attractive even if I don’t act on that attraction, BUT if he knows how to handle me and talk to me with bass…Ladies, my Hello Kitty is going to be like, “Okay heffa, it’s time to stop being selfish and let this Niagara fall!” 💦

Confidence + Dominance + Cockiness = I Assume Whatever Position You Want 😽