“We should be processing all of our emotions, even the ones that we want to avoid the most.”

Pain is more prevalent around this time of the year because of the stigma of spending time with loved ones during the holidays. There’s a few people who I think about more than others during this time because of loss and it seems like the list of people I think about just keeps getting longer and longer each year. It just means that I am getting older, my friends are getting older and all of our loved ones are getting older and life, for one reason or another doesn’t go on forever. My prayer book has over 10 names this year and unfortunately, as the years move forward, more names will be added.

Pain has no set limit and it has no boundary. It can be a friend making plans with everyone except you or someone responding to everyone else’s calls except yours. And pain can also be no longer being able to spend time with someone you love or not being able to talk to someone you deeply care for.

I don’t want to just talk about things that hurt us, I want to mention something very specific and before I do, I want to be clear that in no way I am intending to be insensitive, but for the sake of what I’m about to say, let’s not consider modern medicine or science, or health related issues, hear me out. What if, when we are nearing the end of our lives, whomever we pray to doesn't want us to know that our days are almost over so we don’t hinder on it and be sad, so instead our wings are put on us while we're sleeping or while we're doing something we love that we don't have time to react and let it hinder us. Or in another scenario, we are put in a condition where we lose our memory of what going on in our current lives. Even though our loved ones may feel sad, subsequently, we are walking through our last journey in our own peace. I know this may not comfort some of you, and again, I don’t mean to be insensitive. If one of my loved ones is going to be gone from me soon, I wouldn't want them to think about it, I rather take on that burden for them and let me think about it and let me do what I need to do to prepare and recover.

Pain is defined by what your heart feels. I’ve experienced many levels and categories of pain, from how people treat me to getting disappointing news, to seeing something that my heart didn't want to see.

I don’t know what you're traditions are around this time of year and maybe they've changed in the last few years to accommodate any adjustments you've had to make, but whatever you find yourself doing I hope you do it with love in your heart for yourself and the people who love you and think of you.

Be safe everyone. 🙏🏽