Okay, so before you move in with your partner (reference here), Ladies and Gentleman, help me out here…

At what point when you are hanging out with someone do you identify it as “dating”?

So I am very much a “guys girl” meaning I can hang with the fellas and fit right in, but there is a difference in aura and body language when you are just enjoying time with a friend verses spending valuable time with a lover. (If you are new here, I use the term “Lover” a lot to describe a romantic interest. — I’m too old for boyfriends, you either want something serious with me or you don’t, let’s be on the same page about this, because we’ve got other things we could be doing.) When I’m out with friends, we may engage in conversation and I may buy us a few round of drinks, but it’s innocent and casual. With a Lover, there is more physical contact and closeness not just on his end, but also on my end. — If you don’t see me reciprocate his touch or return the affection, it’s because I’m not that into him, I’m not interested, we’re not together, or…drum rolls please…he is NOT my Lover; be observant.

Back to my question: When is the status of a relationship determined? Am I too old school in expecting the man to ask me…or tell me…”I want you to be my lady.” (and are you all too young to know the song, You’re my Lady by D’Angelo?)

If I’m going places with a Lover and we are just doing the basic things like getting food, asking about each other’s day, or making time to see one another…are we dating? Or are we just hanging out and that I shouldn’t think anything more of it because he could just be “hanging out” with several other women. Lissen…I have several guy friends who entertain multiple women, I don’t judge and I’m all for going with the flow, but I also like to know that my presence and time is significant to someone. I don’t know…this dating shit is for the birds. I hate it, that’s why I’ve been avoiding it for so long and I feel like at my age, the dating pool definitely has pee in it with all the men either too set in their ways, not wanting to commit, or just have no clue what they want (I’m at an age where these matters are more pronounced). Aye, I’m pretty reasonable, practical, and I know I have my flaws, but I also don’t want to be toyed with. I don’t have the fckn energy to deal with the bullshit. You’re either riding with me or you’re not and if we hit a pothole, let’s check for damages and continue on. — “Oh you and her used to smash? Are there still romantic feelings involved? No? Okay, let’s get something to eat.” It’s the same mood if a woman were to approach me and say, “I used to fck with him.” — Okay…what do you want me to do with that information, get mad? There’s over 7 billion people in this world, S-E-V-E-N / B-I-L-L-I-O-N, and I don’t keep myself stuck in a small box, so I’m going to stop knowing my value because of 1 person??? Been there, done that.

Look, I cannot and will not control what a man does. It is on him with what he chooses to do when I am not around. I believe this: If he wants me in his life then he will not make decisions or put himself in a position to lose me.

Also a few things to consider when you are getting to know a person:

• Do you have the same values? If not, can you be open to their point of views?

• Do you have good intentions for one another?

• Is your connection with each other genuine and natural (not forced)?

• Are you or the other person healed from the past? If not, can either of you deal with the other’s pain?

• Are you inspired or encouraged to be better by the person?

  
  

What is the difference between “I like you” and “I love you”?

When you like a flower, you just pluck it. When you love a flower, you water it daily. One who understands this, understands life.