Working from home is becoming the new normal for many of us. In a previous post, “Make it Work Anywhere” I discuss how important it is to stay productive when you are not in a traditional office setting. I cannot envision myself not working. Yet, the sentiment is slightly different because of the uncertainty around us and not knowing how soon we can get back to normal. T-shirts have become my new daily office look, but if I have a video call, I do make an attempt to be business friendly. I've not resorted to turning a pillow into an outfit, so we are all still safe.

Even though these are worrisome times, I find a bit of satisfaction thinking how the grocery store clerks are part of this under acknowledged group of HEROS. It hurts my heart when I see people mistreat customer service workers and belittle them or speak to them in condescending tones. You really have to be a descendant of evil to be so ugly towards people, especially people you don't know and are just coming to do their jobs and go home. Don't get me wrong, there are a few customer service workers who start off with bad attitudes and should probably just stay home, but different age groups from teenagers to elders are getting up to restock shelves or prepare to-go orders so WE can continue to eat and maintain our lives the best way we can.

And how are you processing your new lives? Did you create yourself a routine? Are you finding ways to connect with people from afar? Most importantly, how is your mental wellness? Even before the Stay At Home orders were made, I’m sure many of us faced certain issues with depression, anxiety, addiction, obsessive compulsiveness, etc., so it doesn’t help that we are restricted to mainly be in one place all day, everyday. I keep thinking about the short story by Edgar Allen Poe called, The Pit and the Pendulum. Although the story is much darker than what we are facing…and referencing Poe may give you a little insight on the levels that my mind can go to…it’s the idea of feeling trapped and not know what is to happen to us or what is to occur next. Our minds can really lead us to dreary places. Here is an article form CNN Health that talks about how long term isolation can affect us mentally.

As Scooby-Doo has taught us, monsters are always humans in disguises. We can really become different people if we allow our struggles to get the best of us. I was speaking with my aunt who is a health care professional and she stated that being separated from the world can pose issues with mental wellness and exacerbate any existing conditions. This can be dangerous for yourself and for others around you.

Mental health also correlates with domestic violence. Here is a article from The New York Times that talks about how domestic violence has increased during this pandemic. People who were in abusive situations before the COVID-19 outbreak are now ‘ordered’ to stay in with their abusers. This is a scary thought and I pray for anyone who is in this predicament. I place no judgments on anyone who stays in troubled relationships; people will have reasons that may not make sense to anyone else. All of us think, behave, and react differently. Telling someone to leave an abuser is most of the time easier said than done, it reaches deeper than a physical fear; there is a dependency component that conditions the mind to excuse or accept pain. Even if it is not an abusive environment, an unhealthy relationship is also a problem. (HERE is an organization that helps women financially to leave an abusive relationship.)

I read a comment that said: “You will begin to understand why they said to marry your best friend.” As couples are spending more time at home with one another, tensions may rise, arguments may happen because stress levels are off the charts with us now trying to figure out how to manage our responsibilities within the same four walls everyday. But, your best friend will know you; know how to speak with you, know how to comfort you, know how to help you stay calm, and know how to still make you feel great during hard times. They won't turn their back on you and let you cope alone and they won't find ways to stay away from you because they feel your stress interferes with their stress…again, marry your best friend. I cannot begin to imagine the turmoil of people out of work and/or people dealing with the virus directly. Thank you to all essential workers.

Let us not forget how the kids are being affected by all of this. They face stress, anxiety, and possible depression symptoms as well...and what if they are in abusive conditions? (Brain, don’t dwell on those thoughts.) Many schools have created meal distribution plans to provide families food; families who may not be able to afford several meals throughout all of the days for their children…How is this not heartbreaking to think about? When I can, I volunteer for organizations that help under-served families. I recall helping build a home for a single mother with three small children. I pray they are all doing well during this crisis.

With the younger generations, most of their lives are infused with some type of social activity or interaction. I spoke with a friend in Georgia and the school district in his area is remaining closed for the rest of the year (as many districts may be doing also) and the school board is automatically advancing students to the next grade. What about the seniors though? Proms and graduations are cancelled…I didn’t care much for things like that when I was in high school, I went to my prom for about an hour and was quickly over it. As extroverted as I can be, I have more peace with my introverted side.

My godson is a senior this year, his graduation was supposed to be taken place at my previous university, University of Delaware, but his mother told me all ceremonies have been cancelled. That’s rough. I am still going to find a way to go visit him and celebrate him. I’m graduating with my next degree this summer and I’ve already gotten emails from the University that there will be an online ceremony…I wasn’t planning on attending or walking anyway, so this doesn’t bother me at all. I didn’t do it for the show, I did it for the accolade, so just go ahead and mail me my papers, Thank you.

Mental health should not be taken lightly. You know the saying, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste” but it is a wonderful thing to invest in. If you are long time readers of my words, then you know how much I emphasize about taking care of yourself and paying attention to your well being. If you are facing any form of mental concerns or fighting internal demons, it’s best to find a healthy outlet, practice new or different coping regiments. Do something or call someone who helps you feel calm.

DO NOT let this pandemic turn you into someone you cannot pull yourself away from. Our minds will be boggled with many thoughts….relax. My best advice is to have a personal mantra, something that keeps your aura positive. For me, I need to stay busy for the majority of my time, whether it’s working, ironing out the specifics of my businesses, playing with a hobby, or research/reading. I have my episodes of being overly stressed, anxiety kicking in, my breathing gets tight, I’m worrying about if the email to the staff was clear and if I should have revised it eight more times, then I’m panicking over quality of my work and if I executed with my full potential. What if I was in someone else's shoes and this pandemic severely affected me? What if I was someone who has been furloughed and doesn't know how they will pay all their bills. Even with the stimulus money and unemployment checks, it still may not be enough for many people...I would break down. And what if I had a loved one on a hospital bed with COVID-19? I’m not confident my strength would hold on to me through all that.

It is really hard for me to pull myself back when I’m spiraling through my mind and I have been at a stage where I needed outside help. My mental wellness was suffering. I learned to STOP whatever I am doing, I sit down, lean against a wall, or lay down and I close my eyes for a few minutes and tell my brain to go black. I breathe slowly in and out and I keep 'talking’ to myself, “Relax, breathe, be still, relax, breathe, be still.” I keep doing this until my heart starts beating regularly again and until I begin to feel less tense.

Then, I get back to what I was doing with a clearer mind OR I stop for the rest of the day, possibly a few days, and maybe a quick getaway if I can manage it. I don't do my best if I am not at my best; I’m no good when I’m no good, ya hear what I’m saying?

I truly believe what we are currently experiencing will change the shape of how we live, work, and communicate with one another especially with our friends, families and/or partners.

Stay Safe. Stay Healthy.

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