Dear Men...and Women
Dear Men,
Let's not think I'm just here being a man-hater, I love you fellas, and trust me, I defend you guys more than you'll ever know, but I can't save you!
I get it, you don't understand why women are so emotional and always want to talk through things. You guys aren't built that way. I hate that shit too.
I get it, you don't understand why she's gets upset when you never asked her to be your girl and you're out there having your fun with other sweethearts.
I get it, you don't understand why she's not answering your calls when she's finally realized you weren't ready and moved on to someone who was.
Look Son... Yes, I'm calling you my son because you're just as childish as many of my female colleagues... Son, don't play with these females. Be up front with your intentions, I'm serious. Treat it like business, lay out what you want and what you can accept. If she agrees and behaves accordingly, great. BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO SET THE TONE ON WHAT 'TYPE' OF FRIENDSHIP OR RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH THIS WOMAN.
Yes, women will run with anything you give or show them. You give her access to the house, she will mark it partially hers!... Look, I can't explain everything that goes through our souls, I don't even fully understand us, so I know your ass ain't gonna get us! So, let's meet halfway.... I can't tell you that each encounter with a woman will be great but, I can tell you that you cannot be out here making these broads feel like they are the only one if they aren't. Just let them know, "Hey, I'm not looking for anything serious." Let her make the decision if she's cool with it. And if she starts acting up after that (because there are some women who say they are okay with it just to get in good but, afterwards try to change your mind)... Homie, you need to go out there and meet another one if she does this ....It may be a tedious routine but, hey if that's the life you want to live, then that's the protocol you'll need to keep executing.
Now Ladies, let's transition to you....
Men are NOT HARD to figure out. They are simple creatures. And they are considerate to the women they LOVE. << I'm going to come back to this. Men don't need you to over-explain and they tend to get irritated or distant when you over-exaggerate (be dramatic). Again, they are SIMPLE creatures. In relation to animals, men would be more like cats in behavior. They'll come to you when they want something but, for the most part they rather be unbothered.
Let's go back to the "Men are considerate to the women they Love" statement. A man's love for his mother or for his daughter will NOT match the love he will have for an outside woman, make note of this. It is all on what he decides to INVEST into YOU. Investments come in different amounts and are catered to what HE wants from you. Also note that consideration and respect go hand in hand so, he will respect you as much as he VALUES you. If you don't value your time and self, what tone are you setting for him?
Men love differently than women. And their emotional stance does not have the same capacity as ours. He may be infatuated with you one week and show you his best side but, next week it's different and now you label him an Asshole. Yet, you still give him grace because you are holding on to the potentials he shown you the first week. Men act accordingly to how they feel at the moment and if he does not truly love you, then you will never be a continuous thought before his actions.
Don't get caught up in your expectations of him. Go with what he shows and proves to you. Don't create something that doesn't have the resources to be realistic. Be honest with yourself about what type of man he really is instead of what you want to see in him. Good men don't hide who they are, you just have to know how to identify him. And he may NOT be ready to be good to YOU or any other woman. In which case, you CAN'T make him.
Think of this, in a man's life from birth to adulthood, he has a slew of women contributing to his psyche, his mother, grandmother, aunts, sisters, cousins, neighbors, schoolmates, co-workers, etc. If you come along later in his life, your input may or may not be of value to him. The "You should not do this" type of conversations have most likely already fell on his ears before you came along, he just has not made any changes since then.
Don't ever claim a man who is not claiming you...
Your expectations of a man can and will cause most of your disappointments in men, especially in the men who you favor. Don't be bitter about the man who thought of you less, be bitter about the fact that you still hung on to him.
Wall Art Location: Yoga One Studios on 19th St, The Heights, Texas (Houston)
Artist: Ruben Rojas